February 2012
I have a mission.
I am going to persuade my mom into letting me get my septum pierced. I’m gonna pay for it, I just need her to sign a piece of paper.
Always got a thing for tall boys that have that “I’m trouble, I probably drink too much and drugs are my best friend” look.
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April 15th.
I’m going to see Lydia. I’m going to get there really early. Stand in line forever because all of The Maine’s fan girls. I’m going to be right up against the railing and i’m not going to leave that spot till it’s all over. I cannot believe i’m going to see Lydia!
Heavy boots.
My mind is in a weird place today. My chest is tight and my eye lids are heavy. I want a nap and maybe some coffee.
Saucy(Austin) is coming over. We’re gonna hang out because my parents are out of town. This ought to be fun. (:
Just went for a run with my Clarabelle. Feelin’ soooo much better today. A nice shower and a pepsi are definitely in my near future.
The parentals just left for Vegas.
I have work tonight but i’m home alone after that. I don’t know when my brother will be around but the next 5 days are gonna be good and bad. I don’t really have any transportation but I’ll deal, I guess.
“Can you understand? Someone, somewhere, can you understand me a little, love me...”
– Sylvia Plath, The Journals of Sylvia Plath
Why can’t I have a friend who will come over and just fucking cry with me? I want to cry right now and my whole family is out in the living room and I know if I do my mom will come in here and get all up in my business. I’m home alone tomorrow night and I want someone to stay with me because that would make me feel good. I want someone to lay in bed with me and talk to me till 4 a.m....
Today I got out of bed, even though this feeling is still weighing heavy on my shoulders. I’m slapping a smile on my face, despite the fact that my job is kind of at risk and the person I felt closest to, mentally, quit. I’m going to go out of my way to have a good day, I know I deserve at least that.
“I postpone death by living, by suffering, by error, by risking, by giving, by...”
– Anaïs Nin
I found an excuse to go to subway. Travis was there. Izzy too. And big forehead genoa. Travis hugged me super tight the moment I started talking because he “didn’t know it was that bad”. He also told me that I better get better so we can work tomorrow. Now I’m at my dads and I wish I was still there sitting at that table making him smile while he makes a sandwich. I wish I...
Anonymous asked: Your voice is super hot right. I want you to feel better but if your voice stayed raspy like it has been I won't complain.
If only
whitneysway:
I could make time stop. To stay in a moment for just a little while longer. To freeze everyone else in the world, but myself and one other person. To finally have the time to get to know everything about them. To finally really know them, and for them to finally know me. There’s never enough time. If only I could stop time, to have more time. If only.
